*Television turns on*
Nikki Probst: I will now read the votes:
First vote: Tom
Second Vote: Tom
Third Vote: Tom
Fourth Vote: Tom
Fifth Vote: Kathy….. Who would vote for Kathy? She is on exile island and ineligible for the vote…. dumbass.
Sixth vote and the third person voted out Survivor: Benelux Tom Green. Please bring me your torch.
*hand grasps the remote and changes the channel*
Nikki: Last week we introduced you to your Top 24, and this week they compete for your votes American! Twenty will stay and four will be singing for the last time, this is American Idol!
Nikki: Welcome to American Idol, I am your host, Nikki Seacrest. Let’s meet your judges! He is bringing black back, it is Clint Jackson. *audience cheers* She is America’s sweetheart it is Lisi Abdul. * Audience cheers* from the depths of hell, I mean Britain we have Joaquin Cowell. *boos erupt from the audience* Judges how are you doing this evening?
Clint: Yo yo yo, dawg I am ready to see the slayage these kids drop tonight!
Lisi: Nikki you’re just so beautiful, I really want to just…. *passes out on table*
Joaquin: Let’s just get on with this disastrous evening.
Nikki Seacrest: Due to time constrictions for the show and only having 2 hours for our twenty-four performances, we will only be asking one judge to speak. During the show you America will be eligible to vote for your favorites. Let’s get down to business though. This week your Top 24 will be singing their guilty pleasures. Up first this evening is Simon “Hotdogs” Deering singing “Who Let the Dogs Out” by Baha Men.
*Hotdogs takes center stage to sing as a hotdog vendor enters stage right*
Clint: Look Hotdogs, I think you are the first member of the dawg pound tonight. You lit that stage up. I especially liked the part where you handed each of the judge’s hotdog. Why does Lisi’s have relish and mine just have caught up though? Not cool. That being said you should be here next week!
Nikki: To vote for Hotdogs, dial 1-866-Idols-01 or text 43657-01. We will see you later in the show for the results. Let's keep going. We are hearing from a lovely lady who has played two seasons of big brother and never won, maybe American Idol is her show? Singing “Believe” by Cher, it’s Daniele Donato.
*Daniele moves to the piano in her silk silver dress and sits on the piano*
Joaquin: Hello Daniele, I could tell that you had some problems with it vocally this week. I am just hoping you did enough this week with your unique song choice to get through to next week. We have seen some great stuff from you in the past and I feel that although you were very amateurish tonight, you have potential.
Nikki: Well said Joaquin. She does look fabulous in that dress though. If you believe in Daniele you have to vote 1-866-Idols-02 or text 43657-02. Voting for her to stay on the show is the only way to keep her away from her deranged father. We will now turn our attention to our Australian Rocker. Tim Dormer has decided to take a rock twist on his guilty pleasure song “I Knew You Were Trouble” by Taylor Swift.
*Tim hops up on the judge’s desk facing the audience in preparation for his performance*
Lisi: Tim that was hot, you’re hot. I am sorting of drooling after that performance. Is anyone else feeling the heat? *fans self*I feel like, we really got to know you, and you got to know us intimately…
Nikki: Okay Lisi we will stop you there, this is a PG-13 show. If you think Tim has caused enough trouble to stick around until next week’s semifinals episode let us know by voting. You can vote for Tim by dialing 1-866-Idols-03 or texting 43657-03. After the break we hear from Cody, MacKenzie and Tiffany. Stay with us lots to come on American Idol.
*commercial break*
Nikki: Welcome back to American Idol. We are three performances in to out Guilty Pleasure Night and it is time we heard from our next contestant. Cody rose to fame as he was carried through Big Brother 16 as part of the hitmen alliance. He is now paying tribute to the winner of that season by singing his favorite song “I’m a Slave 4 U” by Britney Spears; let’s hear it for Cody Calafiore.
*Cody enters in his traditional dinosaur costume*
Joaquin: I have to be honest Cody; I thought that performance was positively ghastly. You destroyed one of my biggest guilty pleasures. I would not be surprised if you made it through though. The American public has a tendency for doing exactly the opposite of what I say.
Nikki: Well Cody, I want to hear you roar in that outfit. I hope the audience does to. To vote for Cody dial 1-866-Idols-04 or text 43657-04. Let’s move from an American pop icon to a Spanish pop icon. MacKenzie has decided to sing a song from a man he was told once had a one night stand with his mom. Someone should inform her that he is gay, that being said here is MacKenzie Bourg singing “Livin' La Vida Loca” by Ricky Martin.
*MacKenzie descends the star in traditional Ricky Martin attire of a black shirt and impossibly tight leather pants*
Clint: Hi MacKenzie. You certainly left nothing to the imagination in that performance. I liked that you changed it up. I feel like we got another hot one tonight! I better let you get off the stage though before you get fused into your pants.
Nikki: MacKenzie I know I personally loved that, I am sure the audience did too. To vote for MacKenzie dial 1-866-Idols-05 or text 43657-05. We will see you later on this evening sweetheart. It is now time for a girl who spent last season of Big Brother living in Shadow of her sister. She told me earlier today this is the song that came to her mind as soon as she got out of that Big Brother house. Singing a song from British girl group Little Mix, here is Tiffany Rousso with “Wings.”
*Tiffany comes on stage with an entourage of backup dancers*
Lisi: Hey girl! You have never disappointed at any stage of this show and tonight was no different. I think because I maybe mixed my uppers with my downers I have been a little off to this point. But that performance gave me a new high I haven’t yet felt this season. You are going places girl. Work those that black mini and those dance moves!
Nikki: Tiffany, wow! I haven’t seen those dance moved since Miss Lisi was in her prime with her single “Cold Hearted Guerilla Warfare”. If you felt like dancing with Tiffany then you can’t let her leave. Make sure to dial 1-866-Idols-06 or text 43657-06. After the break we have an apprentice, an idol and a survivor fight for your votes. Stay with us.
*commercial break*
Nikki: You have returned to American Idol. We are a quart of the way through our first show. Up next we have Stueart who is singing a song from 2016. With a slowed down version of “No” by Meghan Trainor welcome Steuart Martins.
*Steuart stands in front of a mic stand with one spotlight on center stage*
Clint: Well I will state the obvious tonight. You know I am not your biggest fan and the only reason you made the Top 24 is because the other two outvoted me. That being said you did better than several others tonight. Nothing outstanding but I enough for this week I feel.
Nikki: If you feel that there is no way this competition would be the same with Steuart you can vote. Dial 1-866-Idols-07 or text 43657-07. We all know this Hawaiian beauty for her youthful looks and her sweet voice. Let’s see how Jasmine Trias takes on “Truly, Madly, Deeply” by Savage Garden.
*Jasmine walks in between sheer curtains that were added during the commercial break*
Lisi: Jasmine that performance was like a dream, so beautiful I feel like I when I die from the HIV I picked up using that stranger needle yesterday, that is the version I will hear on my way to my eternal rest.
Nikki: That became a little too dark for my liking. If Jasmine is your next American Idol, dial 1-866-Idols-08 or text 43657-08, she can only survive with your votes. Next up, taking on his guilty pleasure song from his childhood crush Mandy Moore, here is Austin Carty with “Stupid Cupid”.
*Austin takes the mic and all screens’ turn to photos of Mandy Moore with hearts all around them*
Joaquin: Listen Austin…. I felt like I ate too much cotton candy at the fair and now I have 25 cavities. I am sure the girls will swoon over that, but it was far too sweet for me. I need to see something else from you going into next week.
Nikki: I thought that was adorable, you can sing to me anytime. To vote for Austin dial 1-866-Idols-09 or text 43657-09. We have to take mandated break so make sure you come back in a few.
*commercial break*
Nikki: Welcome back to American Idol, we are well on our way into this season’s first semifinals performance. At the end of this show we will be voting 4 of these fine singers out. Up next is Kathy. She says this song reflects how she felt in her child hood and has always been close to her heart. Singing “Invisible” by Clay Aiken, clap your hands for Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien!
*Kathy does not appear on stage, rather hides the entire time behind a wall*
Clint: Kathy that was certainly a literal interpretation of that song. That being said we didn’t get it the emotion of the lyrics because there was a very literal disconnect between you and the audience. I don’t know how well that will translate to the viewers at home.
Nikki: I understood where you were coming from. That performance reminded me of that time I had this eating disorder and no one was around to see it. *wipes away tear*, to vote for Kathy dial 1-866-Idols-10 or text 43657-10. Scoot along now, I think we saw too much of you this performance. Up next we have winner of the Mole season 2. Singing “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” by Donny Osmond from the movie Mulan, here is Dorothy Hui.
*Dorothy comes out in traditional Chinese warrior garb*
Lisi: Dorothy I think you made a man out of me, I know that we are both in the process of transitioning, so I feel for you girl. Have your testosterone meds kicked in yet? It sounds like it because your vocals were a little all over the place. I think America will like your story though and we will see you sail through.
Nikki: Dorothy, what an innovating performance to tell your story to the world. I am sure you have caught the attention of many people around the world with that performance. If you want Dorothy to continue on in the show, you must vote. Dial 1-866-Idols-11 or text 43657-11. Thanks Dorothy. Taking us to the halfway point of the show tonight we have Dustin performing the song that helped kick off his stripper, erm model career. Here is “Pony” by Genuine reinterpreted by Dustin McNeer.
*Dustin comes out with fireman outfit on and a lavalier mic*
Lisi: Oh...My...God… (Swoons), some of these performances tonight have been in another league. You didn’t just sing, you performed. I will return the jockstrap later…. Lisi finishes by giving a pair of thumbs up.
Nikki: Well Lisi said it best, you really did perform. I am sure that will be enough to have caught the frauliens attention at home. If his song dance and stripper show caught your attention at home, vote by dialing 1-866-Idols-12 or text 43657-12. That takes us halfway through the night. When we come back we have performances Burnie, Natalie and Carrie.
*commercial break*
Nikki: 12 performances down, 12 more to go. Time to get down to a throwback classic by Hilary Duff. Here are the smooth stylings of Burnie Burns with “So Yesterday”.
*Burnie walks around stage interacting with the audience*
Joaquin: I will be honest Burnie, we have seen better performances tonight and I am sure we will see more still throughout the evening. I am positive this will get lost in the shuffle. I hope you have some dedicated fans because that was neither dynamic nor memorable.
Nikki: I thought it was plenty of memorable. That takes me back to me singing into my hairbrush as a little girl. To vote for Burnie dial 1-866-Idols-13 or text 43657-13. Our next contestant tonight is from Sri Lanka and won Survivor San Juan Del Sur several years ago. She is singing a song that inspired her to try and be thin and blond. Here is Natalie Anderson singing Aqua’s “Barbie Girl.”
*stage has been converted to a dollhouse, Natalie stands in front with a bleach blond wig on*
Clint: Natalie I must say, I thought I was going to hate that. The whole thing looks camp as hell. But the way your voice from such high pitch to manly in the course of a few seconds is a real talent. Good job!
Nikki: Thanks for keeping it short and to the point. If Natalie is your Barbie girl America, make sure you vote for her. Dial 1-866-Idols-14 or text 43657-14. Go change out of that horrible wig, we will see you at the results. Up next, some say her country ways speaks to animals. So we asked her what they say. Singing “What does the Fox Say?” by Ylvis, here is Carrie Underwood.
*Carrie takes the stage with an army of dancers dressed as wild life*
Joaquin: I have to say Carrie, I am extremely disappointed. I was expecting something fun and happy. What I got from you was something void of emotion and really just an all-around hot mess. I think you should count yourself lucky there’s been several train wreck performances this week. Step it up.
Nikki: If you heard what Carrie’s foxes said, they told you to vote, and not stop. Dial 1-866-Idols-15 or text 43657-15. I thought the wildlife was a cute addition, we will find out later what the audience at home felt. After the break we have 6 performances, we are running out of time and we apologize to our department heads for the lack of commercials.
*commercial break*
Nikki: We have 9 performances left this evening. The next contestant is the winner of America’s Next Top Model singing one of the biggest guilty pleasures of all time. Here is Adrienne Curry singing “Call me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen.
*Adrienne sits on top of a convertible that has been driving center stage, as she’s dressed in daisy dukes and a flannel t-shirt.*
Clint: Adrienne was that was very entertaining to watch. Especially when the rain started and the suds came. I think everyone in the dawg pound is jealous of you at this point! I have a towel to help dry you off.
Nikki: Pervy old man. If you want to call Adrienne maybe, dial 1-866-Idols-16 or text 43657-16, she may just be on the other end of the line! Up next is Vivica A Fox singing her favorite song “Faith” by George Michael.
*Vivica comes out very debonair, like she is going to a fancy party*
Lisi: I loved that Vivica, and I love that you also love George Michael. You know, I met him once. We were both using the male bathroom at one of the parks in London in the middle of the night. Needless to say, I showed him mine, but he would not show me his. He only showed the other boys.
Nikki: How did she even get hired for this gig? If you have faith in Vivica, you can dial 1-866-Idols-17 or text 43657-17. Singing a karaoke classic, here is Survivor sweetheart Julia with Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.”
*Julia really getting the crowd revved up during her performance*
Clint: Can’t go wrong with a classic Julia. You didn’t disappoint. Certainly one of the above average performances tonight. The audience clearly loves it, and I am sure the views at home did. She’s a hot one America!
Nikki: If you want to vote for Julia, simply dial 1-866-Idols-18 or text 43657-18. She is confident in herself and she hopes you are too. We will see you again soon Julia, please step off the stage. We have to keep it going or we will run out of time. Up next singing an emotional song about how her Boyfriend Jon Misch used to beat her. Here is Jaclyn Schultz singing “Smack My Bitch Up” by Prodigy.
*Jaclyn comes out in a black cat suit with a mic stand, and hits her Michael Jackson-like pose*
Lisi: *stands up crying, clapping like a walrus* That was an amazing performance. I don’t know, it's just because I drink a 40 of tequila and I’m a little emotional now or if I punched my ex in the face when he attacked me, but your performance moved me. You are beacon and I want to wear your skin, I mean be you!
Nikki: Creeper, Lisi. Jaclyn, it takes a true person to sing about your struggles. We all thank you. To give Jaclyn a hand dial 1-866-Idols-19 or text 43657-19. We will see if it carries you through to the next round. Up next taking to the air in what will surely by a magical performance. Here is Ricky Williams with “Glitter in the Air” by Pink.
*Ricky is suspended in the air via aerial ribbons*
Joaquin: A masculine grown man singing while working anti-gravity ribbons is something you only need to see once. I must say, I found it hilarious. You will keep us surprised each week. Not the strongest vocals but always entertaining.
Nikki: If found Ricky to entertaining and want to see him next week, dial 1-866-Idols-20 or text 43657-20. You can leave for now. We now head back to a Survivor contestant. This guy quit and gave up a shot at the 1 million dollars all because he hurt the final 2’s feelings. Can her channel those feelings into his next performance? Singing a ballad version of “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls, here is Ian Rosenberger.
*Ian sings with 4 male contemporary dancers dancing around him*
Clint: That is how you change up a song and make it your own. You took a guilty pleasure and made it even more pleasurable. It just somehow worked, you should be proud of yourself.
Nikki: I wannabe your lover Ian... but I also want you to get some votes, so let’s tell the viewer’s how they can keep you around. Dial 1-866-Idols-21 or text 43657-21. When we return from this short commercial break we will be back with our final 3 performances.
*commercial break*
Nikki: We are back and it has been a night of great performances, and only 3 are left to perform. Up next is runner up from Season 7 of Big Brother UK. He is singing his favorite song from a true wildcard Miley Cyrus. Here is Glyn Wise singing “Wrecking Ball.”
*Glyn swings naked from a Wrecking Ball*
Lisi: I found that incredibly moving, or rather something was moving in my pants. Strangly erotic. One of my favorite performances of the night. Tell the set team to keep this around until later so I can take my turn on it.
Nikki: Well if Glyn wrecked you it’s time to let us know. Dial 1-866-Idols-22 or text 43657-22. You can leave the stage for a while Glyn, good job. Up next week have Shelli Poole, channeling her inner Latin Pop star. Here she is singing Shakira’s “She Wolf.”
*Shelli gets pushed onto stage in a tight unitard, in a steel cage while she contours her body*
Joaquin: That was what I call intense. I could feel your passion. You are old as hell but your performance experience shone through. You are a star. But will your age prevent you from connecting with the audience, I hope not!
Nikki: I felt it Shelli, you unleashed your inner wolf. To vote for Shelli dial 1-866-Idols-23 or text 43657-23. We now one remaining performance before the voting concludes. Our closing number tonight is from a big brother contestant. She is singing the song from her favorite show. Here with the Pokémon Theme (I Wanna Be the Very Best) by Jason Paige, welcome Holly King!
*Holly Walks center stage with a simple beam of light on her, she starts to sing and pulls out her phone*
Holly: Oh shit, there’s a dragonite around here!!
*Holly continues to sing as she wanders around stage and eventually falls off of it passing out*
Lisi: *the snot bubble from her nose pops and she wakes up and she stands up in awe clapping violently*
Nikki: We do not advocate drug use on this show, and very clearly Holly was stoned. We have disqualified her from the competition. With Holly’s disqualification we have determined only 3 will leave. After the break we will find out who is going home.
*commercial break*
Nikki: Welcome back, 24 acts have performed and we have already sent one home. Before we get to the results lets go to the judges. Judges who stood out for you?
Clint: I loved Jaclyn; her story was the most moving.
Lisi: Glyn and the wrecking ball come on audience we loved that!
Joaquin: Tiffany, that dance break in the middle was epic.
Nikki: Let’s reveal the person with the least number of votes. Tonight we say good-bye to Dorothy Hui! I am sorry please sing for the final time.
*Dorothy reprises I’ll Make a Man Out of You*
Nikki: The next person eliminated is….. Cody Calafiore, please say good-bye and sing once more.
*Cody reprises I’m a Slave 4 U*
Nikki: Alright, we have lost Holly, Dorothy and Cody so far tonight. I am going to bring the bottom 2 vote getters onto the stage, one of which will be the last person eliminated tonight. The bottoms 2 are: Glyn Wise and Jaclyn Schultz.
*audience and judges are in shock*
Nikki: Let’s go to the judges, do you think America got this right?
Clint: I am absolutely shocked, I clearly loved both of these contestants tonight, America what is wrong with you?
Joaquin: America does what it does. This is what happens when you don’t listen to me, terrible results!
Lisi: *in a weepy mess* this is the worst possible outcome of life, how are we all going to live? This is absolute travesty.
Nikki: Alright this is your result America, the final person leaving us tonight is…. Glyn Wise.
*Glyn takes stage to reprise wrecking ball*
Nikki: That is everything for tonight. This is Nikki Seacrest, signing out.
*Channel Changes*
After the epic journey the cast of EuroSurvivor had just been on, the remaining 20 were timewarped through all of time and space and a lot of electric cables to reassemble themselves in New York City, where main characters of the show “Broad City” are doing their normal toilet talk, a conversation over Skype during each of their morning poops, muting their mics anytime a poop bloop was coming to town. Only today, their poop bloops were completely interrupted.
With a very loud thud, the remaining 20 members of EuroSurvivor were ripped from their American Idol homes and spilled into the apartment of miss Abby Jacobson, who was still recovering from a weird incident involving a bag of weed and a box of jello from the night before. Quickly, and more importantly, from the comfort of her own toilet seat, Abby told her bestie Ilana about what she had just heard, and hastily hung up the Skype call to go examine the sound. She grabbed an umbrella that was sitting in the corner of the bathroom and rushed out to the noise.
She was greeted by the groans of the cast, which is understandable since they just did something that is normally not humanly possible - you know, to materialize in one TV show and then be dropped into another all in an instant. Abby said, “Wh- what are you guys doing here? That’s like, really not cool to just come crash my pad! Yeah.” This put the situation into something that was easier to deal with. Carrie Underwood, a strong leader of the group, replied, “More like what are you doing here? Where’s Ryan?” Her curly hair filled with confusion as she realized Ryan Seacrest was no longer around.
Abby, trying to make sense of the situation but also being the kind New York citizen that she was, asked kindly for the group to go wait outside of the apartment complex. After the group had filed out and Abby let Ilana know of the situation, she put on her coat and her hat, forgot to put on deodorant and farted as she left.
Ilana says to Abby, “What the actual heck? Legit, I just got this new ganja from a new dealer and I’m really thinking it’s doing something. People appearing in your room? My bicycle seat singing to me every time I honk its horn? Something really weird is going on.”
Anyway, it’s understood that the episodes of Broad City are very short and that they have to get through the content quick, so the remaining members of Survivor quickly went on their party spree with the one and only Ilana Glazer, although a quick scene involving a bathroom and a bucket full of hotdogs rendered Carrie Underwood, Adrienne, Shelli, and Burnie in jail cells for the night, specifically in that order. This meant that as the group timewarped to their next destination, only 16 remained.
*Channel Changes*
Right before the remaining 16 players got time warped into their next checkpoint, they could remember hearing a distant and sharp cackle of laughter just as there fellow comrades were getting arrested for some hotdog incident. the laughter stops and all of their vision went black. lights turned on and everyone winced at the brightness. Natalie was the first to notice that the 16 left in this journey, were all standing on checks with their faces on them and each check said: passage to channel 4. As people were arguing and talking with each other, trying to figure out whats going on, Natalie leaned down and picked up her big plastic check and started to examine it, Austin had bee n watching her actions and he decided to copy her by examining his own check. Both quickly discovered a piece of paper taped to the back of their check, which read: "Welcome to the hot summer set of i love money. as we all know, we must take care of business and that means picking teams. Usually we like to start off this show with 2 team captains following up with some one not getting picked to be on a team. but since theres only 16 of you, we have decided to start things off a little differently. Ahead of you is a 1 mile long track of sand. at the end of the track are 2 walls, both of them was 3 ft feet high. the first 7 to get over the both walls were safe. The first person over each wall was pay master and they had to void one person on their team. the last person over each wall was eliminated. Natalie looked at austin when she was done reading but Austin wasted no time looking at her, he was already bolting through the sand and she noticed that everyone else noticed his actions, her first response to this was to distract everyone so she yelled out "everyone read the back of your checks!!" and then began to ran.
Jaclyn and Julia didnt even hear natalie nor did they think anything she had to say was important. so they picked up their checks and started walking down the sand track like 2 lost tourists looking for their gate number at the airport. al they could wonder was why Natalie and Austin were running so fast.
Simon came up with the idea that austin will just tell him whats going on if he manages to catch up to him so Simon sprinted.
The rest of the people picked up their checks and read the rules and one by one they began to run or jog twoards the 2 walls
.
Austin and Simon got their first. austin jumped over wall 1 and so did simon. The rest came up and started hopping over walls like sheep. the last one over wall one was natalie and the last one over wall 2 was daniele. they both disappeared and had voids on their cheques.
Austin was paymaster for his team. and his team had decided to vote daniele into the bottom 3 for being a sneak. Austin voided her. Simon had voided Kathy on his team for looking weak.
The voice in the distance made a sound of confusion....
*Channel Changes*
The 12 remaining survivors immediately became aware of their new surroundings. They were on the streets of New York City. Some found themselves in uniforms with registered weapons and badges while others found themselves in suits with illegal firearms as members of organized crime. Jaclyn found herself as the new boss of a powerful organization with a lot of reach. With Tiffany as her enforcer and tons of ground forces, Jaclyn controlled the city.
Jaclyn: Where do we stand on our operations?
Tiffany: Currently going on without a hitch. The boys are effective as usual.
*Ricky enters and walks over to Tiffany. After whispering something in her ear, Ricky returns to his activities.*
Jaclyn: What was that about?
Tiffany: Well boss it would appear we have a minor issue. Two detectives from the eighth precinct interrupted one of our exchanges and took some of our men into custody.
Jaclyn: I see. And what’s the current status?
Tiffany: Being held without bail.
*Jaclyn turns to Tim who had been by her side*
Jaclyn: Why don’t you go retrieve our boys, officer?
Tim: Yes ma’am.
*Tim places a police cap on his head and whistles as he exits the room.*
Tiffany: What about the detectives?
Jaclyn: Take Vivica, Jasmine, and Steuart and eliminate them both.
Tiffany: You got it boss.
Tiffany, Vivica, Jasmine, and Steuart left the base and took a trip to the eighth precinct, walking past it and heading a few blocks out. It was here where Vivica stopped as the others kept walking. Vivica had been pushing an empty stroller as the group assumed its position and now she stood on the sidewalk, vacant stroller in tow. Tiffany, Jasmine, and Steuart hid up nearby alleyways and behind nearby cars. They waited in these positions until Tiffany saw headlights in the distance. Unseen by all who were not expecting her, she hid in the shadows of an alley. When the headlights got close enough, she gave Vivica a signal. Vivica began walking out with her empty stroller into the street, right in front of the incoming headlights.
The car got closer to Vivica and it was revealed to be a cop car, more specifically one returning to the eighth precinct with Simon driving and Austin in the passenger seat. At this point, Vivica was aligned with the front of the cop car that was rapidly approaching. Austin spots her in the road with her stroller, seeing an unaware mother walking with her toddler in front of a car.
Austin: Whoa whoa stop the car!!
The car came to a screeching halt and stopped inches from Vivica who threw herself down in order to feign impact. Austin got out of the car to check on Vivica and investigate the situation. As soon as he exited the car and got close enough, Vivica revealed a pistol and shot Austin in the kneecap, causing him to collapse. Seeing this, Simon quickly exited the vehicle, only to meet with gunfire from the south. He dove for cover as Tiffany, Jasmine, and Steuart made themselves visible, shooting at him from a distance. Vivica had meanwhile risen to her feet and shot Austin in the head, killing him.
The four criminals reorganized in the center of the road and began firing at the car behind which Simon was hiding. Simon only had a pistol and knew the situation looked bleak as he endured machine gun fire. From behind the vehicle, he saw a clear shot at Steuart’s leg. He fired and the criminal collapsed to the ground. Having revealed his position, he rolled behind another car, avoiding more gunfire.
Steuart began crawling closer to Simon with his injured leg and, believing to have snuck up behind the detective, was shocked to see him facing him, waiting. He shot Steuart in the head and killed him. At this point, Jasmine charged the car as Tiffany and Vivica offered suppressive fire. She managed to get a shot at his shoulder before he became aware of her presence but recovered and managed to kill her as she closed in.
At this point, Simon realizes that he is out of bullets. He stays behind cover but Tiffany quickly realizes he is out and she and Vivica close in. They approach Simon, injured and trapped.
Simon: Who are you?
Tiffany: Associates of the fellows you wrongfully arrested earlier this morning. But don’t worry, another officer is making sure they are released and satisfied.
Vivica: A pity you won’t be so lucky.
Simon: You’ll never win this war. You may have numbers or turf or brute force but we have justice on our side.
Tiffany: And where is that justice now? Because it would appear it’s led you right here…where you belong.
Tiffany shoots Simon in the head twice, killing him. She directs Vivica to clean up the mess and calls Jaclyn to tell her the job is done. The camera fades away as the eerie, fog-covered night sky reveals a full moon behind the clouds.
*Channel Changes*
The setting has changed and not for the better. The remaining 8 survivors looked around to see where what fresh hell they found themselves in this time. The sky cracked with a loud thunder and lightning struck near by. An eerie sound traveled through the woods into the cabin they had found themselves in. They started to search the place to find clues about where they were and Ian found what seemed to be a journal. He opened it and while he turned through the pages he saw each page was dated with a list of names. ‘Who are these people?’ he thought to himself. He found today’s date and it had two names written on it. Ricky Williams and Jaclyn Schultz.
“Hey Ricky, do you know this place?” Ian asked. “Your name is written in this book-“
Just then the TV turned on and the news played. “Local Girl Found Stabbed” flashed across the bottom of the screen. ‘Lisa Johnson was found this morning along Highway 24, no leads on how this tragic event occurred but we will inform you once we have more information’ said the news anchor. Ian flipped to the previous page in the journal and read the name on that list. Lisa Johnson.
“Lisa Johnson is in this book guys” Ian stuttered. “What is this place?”
The gang made their way to the door when the power was cut. Jaclyn screamed as she felt someone walk passed her, their icy cold skin pressed up against hers for a moment. The group panicked looking for anything they could find to defend them when the cabin was lit up as lightning flashed across the sky and a figure was standing behind Ricky. “Ricky, look out!” Tiffany shouted. But it was too late as the knife the hooded figured was holding slashed Ricky’s throat. The figure made his way to Jaclyn and raised his arm to take a swing---
*Channel Changes*
Nikki walked over to the small table in the center of the room and on the table were 6 red roses. “You’ve all impacted my life in ways I have never imagined, but tonight I must send one of you home.” Nikki picked up the first rose, “Julia… you’ve changed me for the better. Will you accept this rose?” A blushing Julia accepts the rose. “Tim… I can’t imagine where I’d be in life had I never met you. Will you accept this rose?”
“Absolutely, I think I’m falling for you Nikki” Tim gushed as a single tear trickled down his face.
As the rose ceremony continued Jaclyn, Vivica, and Dustin each received a rose from Nikki. There were two contestants remaining and only one rose left.
Nikki confessional – This last rose is such a tough decision, Ian has been the nicest guy ever on our one on one dates but there is something about Tiffany I want to explore. I’m going to have to follow my gut on this one.
“My final rose is a risk I’m willing to take… Tiffany. Will you accept this rose?” Nikki said.
Tiffany walked up to Nikki and just stood there. Seconds had passed and still silent, you could hear Tim still sobbing like a little bitch in the background. “I do” Tiffany finally said “But I think you made the wrong choice” Gasps were heard from the crowd. “Ian shouldn’t be sent home, it should be Jaclyn”
Jaclyn’s face flushed with anger was just about to open her mouth when Nikki spoke “I’m sorry you feel that way, but the decision is mine and not yours.” She turned to Ian. “Ian, I am sorry. I wish you the best of luck”
“Ughhh lame!” the mysterious voice said with disgusted. “This show is so fake!”
*Channel Changes*
“This weeks challenged was to take pictures underwater and show the judges your best smize and while some of you really gave us what we were looking for, others simply sunk to the bottom. I have 5 photos in my hand and these photos represent the men and women continuing on in this competition to become America’s Next Top Model” Nikki Banks said. “First name I’m going to call had the best photo of the week… Jaclyn. Jaclyn your photo showed absolute beauty and the judges all agree you are the one to watch in this completion. Congratulations you are still in the running to becoming America’s Next Top Model.”
As Jaclyn takes her photo and makes her way to the side of the stage, Nikki calls out the next two names: Tim and Tiffany. They have both received praise from the judges and will continue on in this competition. “The next name I’m going to call is… Vivica, this was not your best work but you had just enough to give to keep you alive. Don’t let this become a habit. We are all rooting for you Vivica, we believe in you and it’s time for you to believe in yourself” expressed Nikki Banks.
“I have one photo left in my hands. Julia, you didn’t give us what we were looking for and this is your 2nd straight time in the bottom 2. Have you given up? Do you have anything left to give? Dustin, your beauty is strong but this photo was no where near the potential we all know you have” said Nikki. As Nikki reveals the final photo in her hands, everyone has the same shocked photo on their face. The photo was blank. “Neither of you will be continuing on in this competition. I’m sorry but it’s time for both of you to leave”
*Channel Changes*
“What the fuck, this show is still on?” The voice said. "Whatever, there's nothing else on."
Jaclyn, Tiffany, Vivicia, and Tim ran through a giant maze with red blindfolds covering their eyes. Nikki Probst shouted at the players to keep on going. “Dig deep!” Nikki said, laughing manically as the final four explored the maze, trying to find the middle to grab the key they needed. Vivicia constantly bumped into the outer edges of the maze, while Tiffany sat in the corner and cried.
“Tiffany and Vivicia are already OUT of the competition,” Nikki Probst shouted, “It is between Jaclyn and Tim!”
Jaclyn quickly gained an edge over Tim, who fell behind after tripping over a crying Tiffany. Jaclyn made her way to the middle and grabbed the green bag she needed. Now, she had to navigate back to the beginning of the maze. However, she bumped into a now motivated Vivicia, who was determined to make up the ground she lost in the maze.
“Move over!” Vivicia shouted. The two side stepped to the left and bumped into each other then ide stepped to the right and bumped into each other, like an elementary school kid and an elementary school teacher trying to get around each other in the hallway. This gave Tim an opportunity to make it to the middle and grab his key. Jaclyn eventually pushed Vivicia out of the way and sprinted to the outer edge of the maze, dodging each wall as if she wasn’t even blindfolded.
In a photo finish, Jaclyn reached the outer edge of the maze and ran to her flag station. She unlocked the box with her key and pulled down a lever, releasing her flag.
“Jaclyn! Wins! Immunity! And a guaranteed spot in the final 3, where she will plead her case to win the game!”
While Nikki put the immunity necklace around Jaclyn’s neck, she broke down and cried. “Why are you crying Jaclyn?” Nikki asked.
“I just know I needed this,” Jaclyn said, “and this has just been my dream for so long.”
*commercial break*
After commercial, the final four were back at camp.
Tim confessional – “I know I needed that challenge, I don’t know if I can make it through this one.”
Jaclyn and Vivicia hugged by the well. “I’m so happy for you,” Vivicia squealed.
Jaclyn confessional – “My vote tonight is clearly for Tim. He’s been a power house this whole game. But I’m afraid Tiffany is going to vote to keep him. And there’s no way Vivicia will win a fire making competition.”
Around the fire, Tim consoled a crying Tiffany. “I just know one of us is in trouble,” Tiffany cried.
Tim said, “If we just vote Vivicia, then we’ll definitely win in the tie breaker.”
Tiffany confessional (while crying) – “I think I’m going home, I don’t know what to do.”
Tiffany and Jaclyn walked along the beach. While in tears, Tiffany said she didn’t want to go home. Jaclyn told her that she was thinking of voting Tiffany, but if Tiffany voted Tim, then she would too.
Jaclyn (confessional) – “If I can get Tiffany to betray Tim, that’ll be glorious.”
*commercial break*
After commercial, the tribe was at tribal council. After a series of questions, the four voted.
Jaclyn showed her vote for Tim to the camera. “Great game, Timmy.”
Then, Tim showed his vote for Vivicia to the camera. “I’m not going home tonight, loves.”
Tiffany put her vote in the urn, with tears in her eyes.
“I’ll tally the votes,” Nikki said. A few moments later, she walked back with the urn. “Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.”
“First vote, Tim.”
“Second vote, Vivicia.”
‘Third vote, Tim.”
The camera panned to a nervous Tim and Vivicia. Then it panned to a sniffling Tiffany.
“Fourth vote, and the final member of our jury…”
“…Tim.”
Tim sighed and looked over at Tiffany. “Wow…” he picked up his torch and walked over to Nikki (who looks deceptively like Jeff Probst from the side):
*commercial break*
“Okay, got my doritos,” the voice said, “guess it’s time to see who wins this stupid show.”
Jaclyn, Tiffany, and Vivica sat in front of the jury. Nikki Probst skipped the opening statements and immediately let the jurors ask their questions.
Stuart approached the jurors first. “Okay hello ladies. First of all, I want you to compare each juror to a type of breakfast cereal.”
Jaclyn shook her head. “Excuse me?”
“You know, breakfast cereal?”
“Why is that relevant?” Jaclyn asked. The final three then compared each juror to a breakfast cereal. Most notably, Ian was compared to Raisin Bran because he was nutritious yet boring.
Jasmine approached the final 3. “Hi ladies. Compare each juror to your favorite Game of Thrones character."
Tiffany broke down crying. “I haven’t seen Game of Thrones!”
“What does this have to do with the game?” Vivicia asked.
The rest of the finalists continued to ask comparison questions in an attempt to stroke their own egos versus figure out anything about how the finalists played their games. After Tim asked the finalists to compare each player to a 19th century poet, Tiffany finally broke down into a catatonic state. Tears continually flowed down her face, but she made no noises or any motions with her face. She just stared at the floor – 39 days of crying finally breaking her.
“Okay, jurors, it’s time to vote,” Nikki said.
***
The mysterious person watching the TV said, “Oh, I don’t need to see this,” as the jurors voted, and then went to the bathroom. When she came back, Nikki Probst was sitting in front of the finalists live to reveal the votes.
***
“First vote, Jaclyn.” The audience cheered. Tiffany’s make up was smeared from crying for so long.
“Second vote, Jaclyn.”
“Third vote Jaclyn.”
Fourth vote, Jaclyn.”
“Fifth vote – and the winner of Survivor Benelux..."
"Jaclyn!”
The audience cheered, Jaclyn jumped out of her seat and gave Nikki a long, passionate kiss. Then she ran into the audience and hugged her family and friends. Meanwhile, Vivicia consoled a now crying Tiffany.
***
“Well, my doritos are gone,” Katia said, sitting on her couch underneath a Dorito crumb covered blanket. “I don’t know why this crap is still on,” she said to Aubry sitting right beside her.
“They just need to cancel it already…it’s so gimmicky,” Aubry said.
“Well, good night,” Katia said, turning off the lights.
*Television shuts off*
