Post by Burnie Burns on Aug 8, 2016 1:17:10 GMT
Katia inspected the rapidly cooling corpse of Tom Green - his usual wry grin had been replaced with a look of utter horror, which was a bit unusual since that was typically reserved for challenge days. Plus, the whole “corpse” issue, but Katia felt a tinge of irritation that gruesome events happened on her day off! The nerve of these contestants!
First John Vito was found in the freezer this morning - she imagined it must have been quite a claustrophobic end for the former globetrotter - which was the beginning of her headache. It only grew when Amber was found in the hallway, the words “AS” carved in her abdomen. She could distinctly remember everyone turning their head to Kathy, who snorted derisively. And so ended that lead.
Green’s death was less gruesome, surely - some light cranial trauma, and his skull caved in like a stack of pancakes. She mimed flipping a pan, and tsk tsked softly at Tom’s state. Poor bastard.
“Katia, for the last time, pancakes don’t cave in! I’m not sure where you came up with that, but it doesn’t even make sense!” Well, it was only a matter of time before she showed - no more avoiding work by pretending to be a coroner. Some day off.
“Nikki, what did I say about reading my mind?”
“Only on Tuesdays?”
“And is it Tuesday?”
“...yes?”
“...touche. Gather the contestants, this needs to be addressed.”
Nikki nodded (a bit reluctantly - she was about as work averse as Katia herself was) and Katia stood and stretched out her aching muscles. She’d probably taken a hundred steps today! A hundred too many - she wasn’t even supposed to be here, her inner Dante cried.
“Uhh...Katia, you might want to see this.”
Goddamit. This was SUPPOSED to be a Survivor game, not Whodunnit! That show only lasted one season, no one would apply for that!
Dragging her feet like they were a relatively slow pair of slugs, Katia peeked her head outside the frame of the door.
“Well...at least they’re going faster? If I’m gonna die, I’d rather not sit through 27 unique deaths. It’d get tedious after a while, you know?” Nikki nodded - probably not in agreement, but in the very least appeasement.
Before them, the hanging, dismembered bodies of the rest of the Luxemburg tribe hung before them, spelling out the words “You’re next.” At this point, Katia was past the point of caring - she was actually a little impressed. Very interesting use of a spinal cord for an apostrophe, actually - Katia could get behind that attention to detail.
“How did they manage this, Katia?”
“You were in the room with me for thirty seconds, and we came out to this.”
“You think it was me?!”
“Well, no - this probably involves more heavy lifting than either of us would ever manage. I’ts more likely you just didn’t notice it.”
“You know, I DID think I smelled something funky - but I was coming to get you, so that was kind of expected.”
“Can you not insult me in my last moments?”
“Nope! But what do you mean by last moments?”
“Come on Nikki, didn’t you read the rules? PW’s and hosts can’t be featured heavily, and we’ve dominated this entire intro.”
“Oh, true! How do you think we’ll go?”
Suddenly, a trapdoor opened from beneath the two of them, and Katia could see an array of spikes straight out of Sonic the Hedgehog sitting several feet below her.
Hanging in mid-air in a manner reminiscent of Wile E. Coyote to make her final statement, Katia pointed her finger downwards. “Like that.”
And with that, 17 were left.
-x-x-x-
After the unfortunate demise of John Vito, Amber, and the entire Luxembourgish tribe, and the mysterious disappearances of two of the co-dictators, er, co-hosts, Audrey brought together the Amsterdam and Bruxelles tribe to explain these recent events. Most of the castaways reacted with shock, whether that was genuine or put-on remained to be seen. Some of the others though, were apathetic, or even stranger, excited. With an entire tribe literally exterminated, then surely that would mean that the chances of becoming the Sole Survivor were even greater. But at what cost? Would the Sole Survivor be the one that was causing these deaths and disappearances?
"The game will continue," Audrey Hepburn announced to the players. "You all signed releases after all, and I'm sure Katia and Nikki would have wanted us to finish this game in their memory." Audrey crossed herself before continuing, "But now instead of being the Sole Survivor, you'll have to catch the killer too."
Dorothy's eyebrows rose and she gave a slight smile. After all, if she could catch the Mole, then surely she could find the killer as well. "Return to your camps and I'll see you soon," Audrey dismissed them.
The two tribes started returning to their camps, their rivalry still going strong between each other. Even if someone was killing them off, each tribe wanted to make sure that they were the last tribe standing.
As they were talking back to camp, Holly smiled and cozied up to Cody, wrapping her arms around one of Cody's well-toned arms. "I'm so scared of this killer! You'll protect me right, Cody?"
"Yeah, babe, whatever," Cody grinned. "You'll watch my back too?"
"Mmhmm!" Holly hummed. "I need to get back home! Who else is going to take care of my cats?"
Cody laughed and as the two of them walked together, Dustin glared at them from behind. None of the women had hit him up at all, not even light flirting. If Holly was going to stay with Cody, then there would be no one to watch out for him.
"Hey, Dustin," Tiffany sniffled, her eyes red from crying. "Do you wanna stick toget--"
"Not now, Tiff," Dustin dismissed her. "I'm brooding."
Tiffany's eyes began to water and she ran ahead past Cody and Holly to find kind words from Natalie, who glared back at Dustin.
At the back of the pack, Austin and Simon were listening intently to Tim tell his story of his time in the Canadian Big Brother house. Tim embellishments worked wonders on the men, and Austin remarked on how he'd never been there. "I've only ever been to Panama," Austin revealed, though Simon and Tim weren't listening. "Canada would be so much fun! You're so lucky. Survivor's never called me back to go anywhere else."
Simon gave a glance towards Tim, who said, "But...you're here in Europe. With us?"
"Really?" Austin said. "I thought this was a dream. I thought I'd never be playing Survivor again."
"Sure," Tim rolled his eyes. The tribe was almost back at camp by this time and he continued, "Oh yeah, where was I? And then a bear broke into the house..."
The tribe made it back to camp in one piece and went about their business, tending to the fire, fixing the shelter, gathering well-water. The usual chores one tribe would make if they weren't in a homicidal version of America's fourth favorite reality TV show.
Cody and Holly left together to get well-water, and it was in the jungle that Holly said to him, "I'm so nervous. I don't want anyone to get killed! If I don't make it back for some reason, I need you to take care of my house and my cats."
"Sure thing," Cody shrugged.
"You're such a sweetheart," Holly hugged him tightly, even if it was a little longer than usual. "Mr. Pickles needs to have his litter changed every day at 3:00pm. Luna loves chicken, but Mr. Pickles is allergic to it, so you have to put Mr. Pickles in his cage when you feed Luna. Oh! And Quackers can't eat duck. He thinks it's unethical to eat poultry."
"K, whatever," Cody said. "We going to make out or what?"
Holly gasped. "I'm super serious! You need to not be mean!"
"I don't care about your cats," Cody said to her. "But if they're worth a lot, I'll sell them to good homes. That'll be nice right when you're dead?"
Holly tightened her fists and a bush rustled to the left of them. Cody turned his head, seeing the shaking bush. "The hell is--" his voice was cut off before he slumped forward, a dart embedded in Cody's neck.
And that was when Holly screamed. The group rushed to her call, ear plugs firmly in place. Austin inspected Cody's body and shook his head. "He's dead all right."
"You killed him!" Tiffany pointed at Holly, starting to cry again. "He was the only hot one!"
Dustin frowned and Holly said, "It wasn't me! He said he would sell my cats, but I wouldn't kill him!"
"A likely story," Tiffany crossed her arms. "If you didn't do it, who did?"
Holly stammered, "I--I don't know. Bruxelles did it! They must have! Or you did it! You're just jealous that I'm beautiful!"
"A beautiful plastic bottle, maybe," Tiffany deadpanned.
"Where were you though?" Natalie asked Tiffany. "What were you doing a few mintues ago?"
"I was taking a breather by the lake," Tiffany answered. "I didn't do it! You probably did it!"
The discussion then devolved into everyone telling each other their alibis. It was clear--no one was with anyone else at the time of Cody's death, and no one could corroborate anyone's alibi. It seemed set then. It must have been someone on Bruxelles. Here they were, a tribe already down one member and that heartless tribe took out one of their own! They needed to be punished.
Little did they know, a similar situation was brewing over at their other tribe...
Steuart left the group once they got back to camp to collect his thoughts. They were playing Survivor and so far, an entire tribe had been eradicated and one person on the other tribe was dead. He remembered being one of the people that was happy when Audrey gave her news. The game had taken a drastic turn, but this only spurned him on to survive. He could thrive out here. The corporate jungle worked the same as the wild forest here. With his experience, he was confident that he could do whatever it took to win the game.
Steuart took off his tie and hung it on a tree branch, and took off the rest of his clothes, left in his lyrca bicycle suit that he used for challenges. There was a lake in front of him, and by damn, he was going to use it. He jumped in the water and took a few strokes, feeling the waves cascade around him. The scent, the taste of the freshwater lake was refreshing and rejuvenating.
Steuart heard a rustle in the bushes and called out, "Who's there?"
Back at camp, Julia, Carrie, Shelli, and Daniele sat around a makeshift table, created out of firewood and road signs stolen from the highways in Benelux. The table would have fit nicely back in any hipster's house, and the four women were happy to be trendsetters. Shelli was braiding Daniele's hair while Carrie was painting Julia's nails when Dorothy started walking by the table.
"Oh my word," Carrie whispered, the volume though loud enough for Dorothy to hear. "Do you see Dorothy's outfit?"
"It's hideous," Julia agreed. "An all black outfit with dorky glasses? Ew."
"I think she looks nice," Daniele shrugged. "We weren't stranded here with a full wardrobe after all."
"Oh my God, that's not an excuse," Shelli finished Daniele's braid. "I was able to smuggle in all of my clothes."
"Oh really?" Daniele replied. "Then why are you wearing that bikini?"
"I only brought bikinis!" Shelli brightened. "My tan is going to be bitchin'."
Dorothy stopped, having heard the conversation and looked at the women. With an annoyed look on her face, she said to them, "Don't worry. I don't want to sit with you anyway."
"How rude!" Julia scoffed as Dorothy started to walk off. "Good luck finding friends, loser!"
Dorothy went to go retrieve firewood and Julia turned back to talk with her gal pals. "So has anyone cozied up to any of the guys yet?"
Shelli laughed. "Are you kidding me? They're ugly. I wish they'd go away so we can get some of the fine men over on Amsterdam."
"I'm married," Carrie showed off her ring.
"Me too," Daniele did the same, showing them her left hand.
"I mean, yeah, but fake it 'til you make it, right?" Julia said to them. When none of them said anything, she stood up. "You're all no fun at all! I'm going to go spy on Steuart or something."
Julia left and the girls sat quietly before Carrie said, "If she's going to try to get me to be unfaithful, I'm gonna--"
"Gonna what?" Shelli gasped.
Carrie bit her lip. "Nothing. Nothing at all."
"I'm with you," Daniele nodded her head at Carrie.
Julia walked away from the table and found Burnie talking with MacKenzie about his career on YouTube. "I love it, I get to do what I love on an awesome website. My videos get millions, no, billions of hits!"
"That's really nice," MacKenzie smiled. "I have three videos!"
"That's nice," Burnie said. "But I didn't need singing shows to make me famous."
MacKenzie continued to smile, but for a moment, a dark look came over his face. It soon faded, but he replied back, "Everyone starts somewhere! Some have talent, and some have luck."
"It was not luck," Burnie narrowed his eyes at MacKenzie.
Ricky walked up to both of them and put his hands on their chests. "Guys, guys! Let's not fight over who has more views or who has talent. You both do."
"You're right," MacKenzie sighed. "Sorry, Burnie."
"I won't forget this," Burnie said. "But sorry."
"Besides," Ricky grinned. "I have the most talent and luck anyway. I was a professional athlete."
Julia finally inserted herself into the conversation. "Hey, where's Steuart? I need to talk to him."
"Oh, somewhere over there," Ricky pointed. "He was giving me tips earlier about how to win the Apprentice."
"That's nice," Julia rolled her eyes.
"He gave me a copy of Donald Trump's book and told me to study it so I could know how to deal with him," Ricky held up a copy of "The Art of the Deal."
"Isn't The Apprentice being hosted by Arnold Schwarzenegger?" MacKenzie pointed out.
Ricky looked at the book in his hands and swore, "Goddammit." He then threw the book in the bonfire. "At least this is useful. That bastard."
Julia left the men behind to go find Steuart, heading into the forests in Benelux to find the most attractive man on her tribe, if she had to downgrade to an 8 instead of a 10. She brushed away some branches and went out towards the lake. As she approached, she heard the buzz of a fly near her and she slapped it away. The buzz returned.
"I said, go away!" Julia slapped to the side and hit a tree.
But the tree seemed to be stripped of its bark. Julia focused on her hand and stepped back in shock.
Her hand was resting on the lycra-covered leg of Steuart Martens, his body strung up a tree, dangling by his neck. His pink tie held his body above the ground. Julia screamed and the tribe rushed over.
"Julia, what did you do?!" Carrie gasped.
"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," Shelli hyperventilated.
"I didn't do anything!" Julia denied. "I found him like this!"
"You were the only one alone with him," Shelli said.
"Nuh uh!" Julia pointed at Ricky. "Ricky talked to him! It was him!"
"No way!" Ricky said. "I wasn't the only one."
"He's right," Dorothy said. "I ran into him and asked for his advice on running a record label. He was surprisingly unhelpful."
"I asked about my investments with YouTube," Burnie replied.
"So did I," MacKenzie glared at Burnie.
"Shelli, you're a liar," Daniele accused. "I saw you swimming in the lake earlier with Steuart."
"He must be gay or something," Shelli said. "He wouldn't even look at me." She turned to Daniele, "And you wanted to know about alimony so you could divorce that Dominic guy or whatever!"
"I would never divorce him!" Daniele gasped. "You're such a bitch."
"Carrie, did you talk to Steuart alone today?" Julia asked her.
"No," Carrie answered.
Julia sighed. "Good, that means you're inno--"
"I was hanging out with him by myself though. I was thinking of a new song, and that's my thinking tree," Carrie pointed at Steuart's body. "I guess I'll have to find a new one. How inconvenient."
"Someone here must have murdered him!" Julia shouted.
"Or it was Amsterdam." The group turned to Dorothy and she said, "The killer could be on Amsterdam. They struck sooner because there were found out by Audrey. They're desperate. We need to stick together and figure out who from Amsterdam could have done it."
The groups of Bruxelles took in Dorothy's theory and came to a silent agreement. No one else from their tribe was going to die by the hands of the Dutch scum. Not if they could help it. This meant war.
-x-x-x-
The Amsterdam tribe and the Bruxelles tribe gathered at the IC Arena for their first challenge after the tragic events of the past few days. Both tribes gathered on the mats and slowly noticed that each tribe was missing a member.
"Dammit, Cody's gone," Shelli frowned. "He was the hottest one."
Dustin glared at her, which Shelli caught. "Oh leave me alone, 4."
"I am not a 4!" Dustin yelled.
"Welcome to the Immunity Challenge Arena," Audrey greeted. "Before we go into today's challenge, there's something you should know.
"The killer has changed the rules of Exile. Each tribe will have someone sent into Exile, but only one person will return. There is an Idol on Exile. Find the Idol, and you will use that to save yourself from the killer. The person who finds the Idol will find themselves Exiled forever."
Carrie gulped at the news. Audrey continued, "The Idol at each of your camps will also work differently. If you find the Idol and the killer comes after you, you can give them the Idol and the killer will go to their alternate target. Hopefully this will give those who find the Idol the chance to find and catch this awful killer."
Some of the group nodded and Audrey said, "As you all can see, Cody and Steuart are no longer with us. I'm sure this is a message from the killer to take them seriously."
Holly glared at the Bruxelles tribe after Audrey said this. Audrey then said, "The killer has communicated with me what the challenge should be, so we can now begin."
Audrey took a deep breath and sputtered off as quickly as she could, "Losersayswhat?"
"What?"
All eyes turned to Carrie, who had uttered that fateful word.
"Bruxelles loses. Looks like someone on the Bruxelles tribe will be killed off," Audrey said.
"No!" Carrie shouted. "That's not fair!"
"I can't believe you, Carrie," Julia said to her. "You lost it for us."
"Good job, Amsterdam!" Simon started clapping for his tribe. "Carrie's such a loser."
"Now we can figure out who from Bruxelles is the killer," Tiffany nodded her head.
"Carrie," Audrey called her. Carrie looked back up at Audrey with tears in her eyes. "You lost it for Bruxelles, but that doesn't mean you might be killed off. Lucky for you, because you said 'what,' you've just been Exiled."
"What?!" Ricky shouted.
"Unbelievable," Shelli clenched her fists.
"Pick someone from Amsterdam to join you in Exile. Hopefully someone you think you can beat," Audrey ordered.
Carrie straightened her back and said in as strong of a voice she could muster, "Simon."
Simon smirked. "Enjoy losing again, Carrie."
"Simon, go with Carrie to Exile. Until one of you is killed off, don't come back to your tribe," Audrey ordered.
The Amsterdam tribe said their goodbyes to Simon, some of them patting him on the back and saying words of encouragement. Bruxelles refused to acknowledge Carrie as she left with Simon. She'll have to prove herself.
"Bruxelles, watch your backs tonight. One of you is leaving," Audrey warned. "Everyone return to your camps."
Half an hour later, Carrie and Simon arrived at Exile. Simon found an envelope on a stomp and read it out loud to him and Carrie, "'Find me where you sleep, and life is what you will reap.' You know what, Carrie?" Simon asked, glancing to look at Carrie. "I'm sure you're too stupid to know what this riddle means, but I do. It's obvious where the Idol is, and I'm sorry to say, but there's no way for you to find it before I do."
Simon sighed, taking in the sweet Beneluxian air. "Can you feel it Carrie? That sense of impending doom in your chest? I'm sure you do. It's okay if you do. Everyone feels it when they know they're about to die. I've never felt that. And I'm never going to. I'm going to live and go back to Australia. You're a one-hit wonder, but I am a king."
"That's nice," Carrie said. She held a glass of water in her hand. "Hey, a toast to my demise?"
"Sure," Simon agreed. He took Carrie's glass and downed it in one gulp. "Aahh...refreshing."
Carrie calmly took out a piece of paper and read off, "'Congratulations, you've solved my riddle. Give this glass to your opponent and they'll go to sleep for good.'" Simon dropped his glass and then fell to the ground. He was dead before he hit the dirt. "Hmm, must have been something in the water."
Bruxelles returned to camp with low morale and impending doom. They didn't speak at first, the situation sinking in for everyone until someone spoke up.
"We can beat this," Dorothy told them. "We have to stick together. The killer can never kill one of us out in the open."
"That's what the killer would say!" Shelli replied. "Get all of us in one place, then mow us all down just like the Luxembourg tribe!"
"No, that was just a one-time thing," Dorothy said.
Shelli gasped, "How do you know? Are you the killer? No wonder you're wearing all black."
"Oh my God," Dorothy rolled her eyes.
"Let's go hide, girls," Julia ordered. "The killer will never find us."
Burnie cleared his throat. "We really should hide together like Dorothy said. Besides, we know that someone on Amsterdam is trying to kill us."
"No boys allowed!" Julia refused. She grabbed Shelli and Daniele by the wrists and ran with them into the forest.
"Maybe the killer will take out all three of them," Ricky grinned. "That'd be nice."
"They're still our tribe members, Ricky," Dorothy said. "We need to find them."
"Should we split up?" Burnie suggested.
"You idiot, you never suggest to split up," MacKenzie told him. "Oh my God."
"We're not in a bad horror movie, wannabe," Burnie argued.
"What did you call me?" MacKenzie asked. He rolled up the his sleeves over his minuscule arms as menacingly as he could.
Dorothy let out a giggle. "Sorry, that's really funny."
"Well, I'm off. I'm going to go find them. Bye!" Burnie ran into the forest to find them.
"Burnie!" Ricky ran after him.
MacKenzie and Dorothy looked at each other before they also ran into the woods, trying to find everyone and regroup.
Julia ran into a clearing and took deep breaths. "I'm so glad we're sticking together, girls! It's best chance we have."
When no response came, Julia looked on both sides of her. "What the hell?!" Both Daniele and Shelli were gone, Julia having let go of them as she ran. "Unbelievable," Julia muttered.
"Shelli!" Daniele called out. Her voice echoed in the woods and she ran as clumsily as one could in a D-list horror movie. Unsurprisingly, Daniele fell to the ground and yelled for mercy.
Shelli found herself in a clearing, the sun beaming down on her. "This is perfect," Shelli nodded. She took out a towel from between her boobs and laid it out on the ground, ready for a nice tan. If you're about to die, why not let yourself look as good as possible?
With everyone separated, the killer put them all in the perfect position to strike. One of the castaways stopped by a tree, catching their breath, and the killer struck. The killer stuck on a pair of headphones over the victim's ears, and pressed a button.
"HEY IT'S FRED!!!!!!!!" a squeaky voice erupted through the headphones.
"No!" Burnie screamed, trying to tear the headphones off. The headphones were stuck to his head, and the sounds emanating from them were piercing Burnie's eardrums.
"MY NAME IS BOXXY!" the video continued to play, the volume getting louder. The penny whistle solo from "Titantic" played, shattering Burnie's left eardrum. The right eardrum was next to fall when the goat version of "I Knew You Were Trouble" permeated his brain. the videos bombarded him and Burnie crumbled to the ground, the vibrations sending him into a seizure, and eventual death.
"I guess your account has been shut down," the killer said. The killer chuckled and left the camp, leaving behind chaos in their wake among the final thirteen castaways.
-x-x-x-
The game then took off.
A mysterious package arrived at Amsterdam's camp after their loss at the Immunity Challenge. Strangely, no one was Exiled. The package had instructions to not open it unless you were alone. The tribe initially agreed to let it be, but with a glint in his eye, Dustin took the package and ran off into the forest. The tribe didn't pursue him, thinking that he just signed his death warrant.
Dustin opened the package with initial trepidation, but then braced himself once the parcel paper was removed. He found a wooden figure in the shape of a shoe, a clog? Dustin tried to remember. Inside the clog was a note.
"'Congratulations. You've just saved yourself from decimation. Grab your belongings and go to the Bruxelles camp. You've been dissolved,'" Dustin read off. "Dissolved?"
The camp behind him then exploded in a fireball. Dustin gasped in shock, but grinned, knowing that he was safe once more. After a few moments, the fireball then died out, and Dustin tilted his head in confusion when he saw a freshet emerge from the trees. "The hell?"
Dustin made his way back to camp, fighting against the waters, and found the source of the water. "Tiffany?"
Torrents of water were coming out of Tiffany's eyes. "The camp exploded! Everyone's dead! It's all your fault!"
"At least you're saved since you were being a crybaby," Dustin winked. "That counts for something, right?"
Tiffany stopped crying and sniffled. "I suppose."
"C'mon, let's head to Bruxelles," Dustin led Tiffany with him to their rival's camp.
-x-x-x-
Dustin, back adorned with a sobbing Tiffany (although perhaps that description is a tad redundant) walked quietly into the Bruxelles camp. The moon was high in the sky, and Dustin figured waking up the entirety of their former enemies in the dead of the night with a wild killer loose MIGHT, perhaps, not be the best id-
FWOOP.
Aaaaaaand suddenly he was hanging mid-air in some sort of fishnet.
“Guess this was leftover from Danielle’s stockings.” he muttered as the entirety of the Bruxelles camp began to surround them.
“Huh, one of Danielle's plans actually worked.” said Ricky. The Donato gave him a stink eye rivaling that of her father.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean...BB13?”
“He’s got a point, Dani.” offered Dorothy.
“WHATEVER - we caught the killer!” Dani pointed an accusing finger at Dustin. “And his like, weird lookin’ water pokemon too.”
“What? I’m not the killer!” said Dustin.
“And I’m not a pokemon!” added Tiffany.
“That’s exactly what a killer would say! And a pokemon for that matter.” Dani crossed her arms, content with her analysis.
Shelli had a confused look on her face. “Don’t pokemon only say their names?”
“Guys can we STOP worrying if Tiffany is a pokemon or not?” said Dorothy. “We got the killer!”
“I’m not the killer! The killer blew up our camp, we barely survived!” said an incredulous Dustin.
Carrie scoffed. “Sure they did. They already killed off the Luxemberg tribe in one post, no writer is lazy enough to kill off the majority of the cast offscreen.”
“Then why does Ricky have a hatchet in his head?” Dustin pointed at him.
The cast turned to Ricky, who did indeed have a hatchet buried in his skull.
“Oh, well that sucks.”The newly minted corpse dropped to the ground.
“See, I can’t be the killer!” yelled Dustin.
“Wait wait wait, this doesn’t make any sense.” said Mackenzie. “We didn’t have an immunity challenge! How are we supposed to be safe?”
“I mean, I have the idol.” offered Carrie.
“Ye ye ye that’s nice Carrie,” Dorothy waved her off. “Looks like the rules can change on a dime. We should figure out this new system.”
Shelli fell to the ground, a hatchet in her head. The one in Ricky’s was conspicuously absent.
They all looked at the scene, jaws dropped. Mackenzie hesitatingly pointed at her corpse. “...ok how have we missed this TWICE?”
“I mean, I’ve been kinda busy trying to prove my innocence.” offered Dustin. “Which the whole “two ax murders occurring while I’m trapped” SHOULD prove.”
“Wait, so that means...” Dorothy hesitated.
Dustin grinned. “Yup! The killer is one of y’all!” He glanced at the ground. “Well, not Ricky or Shelli, I guess.”
The five remaining Bruxelles players eyed each other warily. Finally, Mackenzie heaved the ax out of Shelli’s head and cut the rope suspending Dustin and Tiffany. With an “ooph” the two hit the ground hard, and Tiffany began to cry.
“Oh, I get it!” said Carrie. “That’s raindance!”
Dustin sighed. “God, why did I go for the damn package?” His headache was growing larger by the minute.
-x-x-x-
The final seven contestants neatly arrayed themselves in front of the challenge course, bags under each set of eyes. Who could sleep with a killer on the loose?
“Welcome to your FINAL immunity challenge!” announced Audrey.
“Wait, WHAT?” yelled Dorothy. “We’re at the Final 7!”
Audrey smiled sadly. “I’m sorry, but the killer decreed it. If you have an issue, take it up with them.”
She gestured to the challenge set up behind her. There were seven stations set up, a series of platforms the survivors would sit on. A rope was above each, which they would presumably have to keep holding onto, or fall off the board. It seemed relatively tame...
Until one noticed the spikes placed right below the stations. If one looked closely, one could see specks of blood from the former hosts. It seemed the killer was relatively environmentally conscious, at least.
“Yeah, I’m not going on that.” Danielle turned around and started to walk away, only for a wall of fire to engulf her. The survivors found themselves surrounded by a dome of flames.
Audrey sighed. “In retrospect, I probably should have warned you. No one’s leaving this dome until the challenge is completed. So unless you wanna die of dehydration, I’d recommend you hop on the platforms.
Dorothy sighed. “I guess we don’t have a choice.”
“I mean, we could probably dig underground or some-” Julia collapsed, a dart in her neck.
“What was she saying?” asked Carrie.
Mackenzie shrugged. “Who knows?”
The remaining five contestants went to the boards with some trepidation. Each got a tight grip on the rope, before the boards dropped out from under them.
Hanging in mid-air, Dustin sighed. “Well, this blows.”
Tiffanny nodded. “I agree Dus-”
“Wait a second.” Dorothy interrupted. “Isn’t the killer also on these ropes? Would they put themselves in harms way?”
“Maybe they're confident they can win?” offered Dustin. He glanced at Mackenzie. “He’s looking pretty strong on these.”
Mackenzie gasped. “Are you saying I’M THE KILLER?”
Dustin shrugged. “Just making some observations.”
Dorothy had a quizzical look on her face. “It WOULD explain quite a bit. Mackenzie has been doing everything in his power to get fame - killing us off would certainly draw attention to his career.”
Mackenzie gave a wry chuckle. “Don’t flatter yourself honey. You haven’t been relevant in what, fifteen years?”
Dorothy glared at him. “Exactly what I would expect from some wannabe pop star. Couldn’t even win a singing competition on its last legs.”
“FUCK YOU!” Mackenzie flipped her off, but this was not a wise move. He had a look fo terror on his face as his other hand lost its grip, and he fell into the spikes below.
A squelching sound was heard, and then nothing else. It was deathly quiet as the final four looked at the decimated corpse of the former pop idol, none willing to break the silence.
-x-x-x-
Ten hours had passed, and none were willing to let go of the rope. Mackenzies corpse had begun to decompose in the spike pit, the smell festering in each of the remaining competitors. The aroma of the seared corpses of Shelli and Dani was also permeating the area.
"I killed him I killed him I killed him..." Dorothy had been repeating this chant for about a while now. The others would complain, if not for the whole "hanging by a rope for their lives" thing that was going on.
Tiffany was silently crying, which was actually a first for her. Huh, go figure. Dustin's muscles ached, but he just hung unblinking, looking at the wall of fire. Carrie had grown quiet, and none of her former ditziness seemed apparant.
Dorothy's eyes ligthened up. "Forgiveness?"
Tiffany looked towards her. "Dorothy?"
Dorothy looked at Tiffany quietly. "Penance!"
Dustin's eyes widened. "Wait Dorothy don't -"
It was too late. A bright smile on her face, Dorothy let go of the rope.
The others didn't wanna look. Mackenzie had been enough.
Dustin sighed. How had Survivor turned into this?
"Oh, wait a second!" Carrie exclaimed. She let one arm go, and the former Armstedam tribe turned to her, fear in their eyes. Didn't she see what had happened to Mackenzie?!
Carrie held strong, and pulled a totem out of her pocket. "Hey, Audrey." The host, who had been lying on the ground, glanced at the country singer. "Can I play this?"
Audrey pulled out a sheet of rules from her own pocket, before glancing back to Carrie. She nodded, and a moment late Carrie's formerly withdrawn board reappeared. She hopped delicatrely back into it, working out the cramps in her muscles, and went to Audrey's side.
"What is this fucking HORSESHIT?" exclaimed Dustin.
"Rules are the rules, Dustin. I'm sorry." said Audrey. Carrie was frowning too, but why was more uncertain.
"Dustin I can't hold on anymore!" exclaimed Tiffany.
"Ok that's nice Tiffany."
"No, really I-"
And with one last interruption, Tiffany feel into the pit. Dustin wasn't overtly pertubed, but he did narrow his eyes.
"Wait a second - " Audrey went flinging into the pit. Carrie's frown turned into a smile as she looked at the last surviving...survivor.
"Oops, looks like she slipped."
"It was YOU?" Dustin was aghast. "How? Why?"
Carrie shrugged. "Why not?"
"How did you even get that immunity idol?!"
Carrie looked at him like he was the single stupidest person in existence. "...I made it. I make the rules here, remember?"
"Oh. Right."
The wall of flames went away, and Carrie began to saunter away.
"Wait, wait a second. I'm the last one here, don't I get to leave? That's the rules of immunity, right?"
Carrie turned and offered him a grin. "Yes Dustin, you are the Sole Survivor. There's a saying you should know, however."
"And what's that?"
Carrie took a throwing knife out of her pocket. "Eventually, we all have to die."
And as the knife entered Dustin's forehead. only one was left.
Carrie resumed her walk away, humming all the way.
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel