episode 5

[Simon Deering]

alright sorry for the bad updates so far... hopefully i can rely on some of the other people to have filled you in at this point. NOT GOOD FOR MY RATING ( 

i'm so happy i won the captains challenge got me immunity and also directly into the tribe swap. the big curveball is how bad we lost and how we have to vote out 2 people now. i was wracking by brain for so fucking long on that cryptogram that i decided i was wasting my time and just took the 150 minutes. i couldn't figure anything out. i mean, admittedly i was a little distracted but it was seemingly impossible. i should have done the easy one. or the sliders. but hindsight is 20/20

anyway, i thought that this tribe swap would be good for me because i have 3 other people from amsterdam that i have a good connection with, and i have good connections to glyn as well. i'm hoping i can get a good relationship with everyone on the tribe going but things recently have put me in a spot where i'm not as social as i'd like to be... also bad at updating these. school is just starting so i'm still developing a routine! i also put an excuse on the fact i haven't played in a while so i'm forgetting how much effort it actually takes to give a good performance. but i'm definitely invested in this game and am going to give it my all. also, i would like my name to be officially changed to hotdogs if i make it to the merge. is that fair pls ( please katia please

i'm in a solid group right now, or at least i want to think it's solid, with Austin Natalie Cody and meeeee... although me and cody have discussed having Glyn as sort of a filler for Austin in case Austin goes M.I.A. again or remains being unreliable. i'm trying to get a good social grip on the tribe tonight. i have a completely free weekend this weekend so i'm hoping i can find somewhere snug to sit as i move forward in the game. and i'm going to fucking give it my ALLLLL in the next challenge because i need to prove to the tribe that i'm not THAT bad, although they may keep me around because they could see me a weak link in competitions once the merge came. 

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this just in. i think i decided i'm going to try to make good friends with Glyn too. he's a big character and i think will be good to have on my side. he's pretty likable and we both have a good sense of humor. also, the luxemburg numbers are small and i think us both having the captain label will bring us together. he calls me salchicha and i'm a big sucker on stories so i think that i can stroke his character inflated ego for quite a while. also i think his heart is in the game but he also realizes this stuff is just for fun at the end of the day and wont take anything too seriously.

that being said i dont want to take anything too seriously either and have been mostly going throughout the game being as completely honest as i can. i think the only people i have been dishonest too are people that were voted out, and i think that's mostly because i have a fear of confrontation and i don't want people to feel vulnerable before they go, because it risks a lot happening and blowing up in my face... which is also usually what happens. anyway, i guess i technically wasn't dishonest to people like Tiffany and Holly. i did do some stuff behind their back but whenever they confronted me with the information, i told them everything i could as honestly as i could. Holy just had a bad habit of wanting to play the game as if everyone should revolve THEIR game around hers. she was a ticking time bomb that had a very short fuse. Tiffany on the other hand, i felt like had a lot more potential than Holly and was simply just on the wrong side of things, partially responsibly because of me. I felt really vulnerable that round because Tim said he wanted to vote for me. Anytime I hear someone wants to vote for me I automatically get soooo defensive and will pull any sort of strings to stay. I mean when your back is against the wall, what else is there to do?

that being said... in my most recent games, or game, which was a live version and a lot more rapid paced, i gave my loyalty to people and completely stuck with it. i played the most honest game i've ever played and was really proud of it, even though i didn't win. in fact, the one round that i was going to be unloyal and i turned my back on one person that completely had me on her side, was the round that 2 idols were played and i was the unlucky casualty. so i honestly have a feeling that in these games, honesty is often the best policy....

for this round, i think i'm gonna try to get 5 votes onto ricky. i'm nearly certain he wouldn't have an idol and his personality so far has been pretty bland. the most exciting part was when he told me about the show he's watching now, which is apparently 70s based and involves cocaine. which seems to be a popular topic among my life's events. i've been hearing cocaine a lot recently? do you guys ever hear a word and then start hearing it like all over the place for a little while? or when you learn a new word and then you see it come up in day to day life the next few days? weird stuff

i'm just going to keep chatting with whoevers on tonight and just keep trying to build my social connections the way i always do. im gonna contradict myself though because even though i said that honesty is the best policy, i'm also reminding myself of saying that these games are just meant for fun... so i really should just try to put me winning at the forefront and not really anyone's feelings or pathos into consideration when i think about moving forward. of course, it's really hard to just play a straight cutthroat game unless you're already cruel natured, but i guess some fun CAN be had by being conniving and using your information to your advantage... 

anyway i'm just rambling a little bit now. the plan for tonight i think is to have Jasmine, Glyn, Austin, Natalie, Cody, and HOTDOGS (not Simon) vote for Ricky tonight. potentially im going to see if glyn and jasmine can link up with the current amsterdam members and eliminate the Bruxelles members, since they never lost a challenge and will probably continue to do well in challenges moving in to a potential merge. additionally, if we don't eliminate the few that are here, they could easily band up during a merge and defeat the rest of us. i'm also trying not to cause too many waves. trying to play hard but stay subtle. and from now on, trying to update you guys more! if youre ever disappointed with the amount of confessionals i put in or whatever just tell me to do one. once i have motivation in front of me its always a lot easier to get stuff like this done 8) 

peace, hotdogs

[Simon Deering]

so turns out my plan was successful. i think natalie voted for jasmine because she didnt show up in time for us to tell her we were going to vote differently, but it is what it is. if anything it just makes more of a visible divide between the 4 amsterdams because we can just say that she voted for jasmine even though we were voting for ricky. that's a last resort kind of thing.

anyway, i think that a pretty solid alliance can be formed out of the 4 of amsterdam and the 2 of luxembourg. especially because austin and natalie aren't as strong socially as glyn or jasmine, so it puts cody and i in a middle position of being able to choose either if it came down to it. the only risky thing with that is the chance that it could turn into a battle of Jasmine and Glyn vs Cody and Hotdogs. i'm hoping people still aren't as clear as to how close cody and i are, and i really hope i'm not being fooled by cody in thinking that we're each other's number 1.

i made good progress with jasmine last night! i got her to keep from using the idol and successfully took her under my wing. she's very clearly foreign and the way she words her messages make me die laughing, like when she said Welcome in da hell!!! in tribal council. shortly before that i was telling cody about how i liked jasmine and how she was cute, and Cody agreed and said that she was sweet. right after him telling me that I went and read her post in tribal council and it was the funniest thing ever. Jasmine reminds me of a little kid thats trying to hit someone larger than them but the larger person just is holding them back with the palm of their head on Jasmines skull as Jasmine kicks and punches but actually doesnt do any harm

AS FOR THIS NEXT VOTE, hmmmmm i dont really know who to vote out. i guess the option is to vote out Steuart, but im sort of partial to how handsome he is 8) but if that's the easiest thing to do, then i'll do it for the sake of moving forward. any other votes would cause me to make waves and unless someone is the one that starts to make the moves, i won't be doing it. i think i've got a pretty good social ground on this tribe, and there aren't nearly as many snaky people on this tribe than there was on old Amsterdam. people like Dustin, Tim, Tiffany, even Natalie a little bit even though she's still with me, all give or have given me dishonest/unloyal vibes at times. Dustin redeemed himself a little bit though by letting me win immunity

no one's really around this early in the day but i'll be around for all of it, ready to hit up whoever comes on 8) i think Shelli is going to be a pretty strong and active personality once she's back from Exile. she's good at challenges and seems to at least put in a little bit of personality to her messages