Confessionals Round 7: "[s]Sophie's[/s] Natalie's Choice"

[Natalie Anderson]

I can't


I literally can't anymore...


How is Hot Dogs this inept at literally everything.  That or he is playing dumb so well, but I really don't want to give him that much credit.  Also Austin is really pissing me off for turning inactive.  I get it, life happens sometimes, but you could have at least bowed out graceully, and I could have had Shelli or Steuart here still who I could rely on.


Let me rewind first to Jasmine coming back from Exile.  



I decided I felt it was best to be honest with her with what transpired at the Glyn tribal council.  I don't know how close they were and I would rather her hear my side than for me to be painted negatively by someone else.  Jasmine and I don't have an official alliance, but we did agree to look out for each other.  My strategy all through the swap has been basiscally that of the goddess Sandra Diaz-Twine.  As long as it ain't me.  Which has worked since I haven't gotten a vote (I am not countined Glyn's random vote) so I think it worked.  So my whole thing with Jasmine has just been to make sure if she is voting someone, it won't be me.  Don't know if that worked since the bitch has been on exile.  However she imed me and was having a very involved chat with me before she signed off so I know she wasn't talking to anyone else.


So back to the challenge...



Yeah so Austin wasn't there, and Simon spent 15 minutes trying to figure out the instructions (deja vu to the last challenge).  Ugh I have been wanting hot dogs gone since swap since i knew he sucked, but people didn't want him gone, and I am now wishing I pushed for him to go over Shelli.  But of course Austin wasn't around so I didn't want to vote Hot Dogs without confirming with Austin, so I didn't do it.  Oh well here we are.

ANOTHER DOUBLE TRIBAL WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!

During the challenge I went to Cody, as I immediately knew we were going to lose, and asked if we should manipulate the challenge in the way so that one of us goes to exile so that way me him and austin can be the final 3 remaining.  We went back and forth, however I finally decided it was best to have Cody with me voting, since I wouldn't know what Jasmine or Hot Dogs would do, and Austin has been so unreliable recently I don't even know if he will vote so I didn't want to risk that.  I would have gone to exile, but the way the challenge worked out I would have had to completely obviously throw the challenge which I didn't end up doing.  It is the competitor in me.  Anyway I have had some doubts with Cody and Hot Dogs so I am putting all of my eggs in Cody's basket right now (Hot).  If I go home it is because I relinquished too much control to him.  I trust Austin 100% and would ideally like to move forward with him, but as I have mentioned I cannot rely on him.  I am going with someone I can rely on, but may not be able to 100% trust (even though he is like my bffl) which is scary.

I do think it is smartest for Cody to want to go with me anyway.  Austin is unreliable, and Hot Dogs is imcompetent as an ally and also will be viewed in a merge as unthreatening.  I think regardless of my suspicions of him I do feel he is close with me, and that I will be his best ally shot going forward into the game.  Plus I may be targeted over him in the merge so he could use me as a shield.

But everything literally sucks, and if I go home after all this I will be fucking pissed.  Cody better keep my stupid ass.  I told him i was voting hot dogs first so Im hoping he does the same as then I would feel 100% safe at the next tribal.  If he votes Austin or if Simon plays an idol I will be a scurred.

[Natalie Anderson]

So this round I have really been latching on to Cody. He wanted to vote Austin out at tribal council 1, but I didn't like the idea of leaving my fate up to Hot Dogs so I really laid it on thick. Cody said he felt bad voting Hot Dogs first since Austin isn't as active and deserves it more. Um HELL NO. I told him, listen...I get what you are saying, but do you know who deserves it the most? ME AND YOU...So why risk it to let someone survive another day when we can vote Hot Dogs now and guarantee we are the last 2 remaining.

Meanwhile I was doing this to make sure that it was me Cody and Austin left as I was pretty sure neither of them would vote me in that situation. Let's hope *fingers crossed* I am right about that.

That would also give me time to really think about this decision while still giving me the best odds to make it further. Since Austin didn't show up for the challenge I kind of resigned myself to the idea of cutting him loose. And since I really emotionally chatted with Cody about letting Jasmine go to Exile and just going to the end of this tribe together and cutting Hot Dogs, and then Austin. It was a very emotional conversation and in my mind at the time I knew that is what I had to do.

THEN of course at the last hour Austin appears and is like hey sorry but ill vote Hot Dogs then we vote Cody right? I said yes and I am glad Austin is back but that is all he said and I haven't talked to him since. I don't think it is fair for him to string me along and just show up to vote and peace out for a few days. I've been wanting to ask him how committed he was and he isn't even around for me to ask him that. So I know if we were to merge I would need someone I can count on for a vote and someone I can talk strategy with and that is no longer Austin.

I told myself if Austin was around enough before the vote I would stick to what I originally wanted and keep him, but then I thought of my convo with Cody and I just couldn't do that to him. Not only that but Cody voted Hot Dogs out after I convinced him to and we have just become so close I don't think I could do it. Austin is taking advantage of me now anyway so that is making me not feel as guilty voting him.


I even wanted to talk to Austin and tell him I was thinking of sticking with Cody so he wasn't blindsided by me BUT HE ISN'T AROUNDDDDDDDDD

Again that is just making me feel better about my decision. I am hoping Cody won't run back to Dustin and leave me high and dry :/

Here's to hoping I played this swap tribe right and I make it past this round with no votes. I would be the only person on this tribe not to receive a vote since swap (not counting Glyn's random vote).