Dorothy's Journal - Episode Ten (Seeking the Grail)

[Dorothy Hui]

Lots of stuff has happened already this round and I'm finally getting the opportunity to write in my journal about it! That might have something to do with the fact that I'm cold and lonely on Exile Island for the third round in a row, and there's not a whole lot else to do other than write, but at least now I've got some time to update on everything that has gone on so far since I returned to camp...and got sent back here.

I'm just going to go as chronologically as I can, I think. Hopefully it doesn't come across as rambling?

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So I came back from Exile Island passwordless and subsequently idol-less, but I did come back with the second clue to its location. I immediately shared it in the chat I have with Burnie and Julia, and not long after that, I find out Julia's vote got randomized at Tribal Council. I had heard from Hostess Katia that someone hadn't voted, and my first thought it was someone like Kathy (who voted Tim on her way to a near unanimous boot) or Jaclyn (because who knows with her, ever). Finding out it was Julia was a big surprise to me, since I figured she would have been on top of something like submitting a vote in a 36 hour window, even IF she's busy with school starting. It turns out that she thought the deadline was later in the day, but still, that's a bad impression to give off of yourself.

Kathy leaving over Natalie didn't end up bothering me. Like I wrote on the last page, Kathy brought it on herself by crushing us so hard in the challenge and making the biggest, most threatening second impression on the group I can think of. I can stand by it as the right choice, and I told everyone I could that I'm happy it seemed to be an easy decision.

Of course, Kathy leaving means bupkus if Natalie doesn't leave this round. I'll never stop being worried about the possibility of OG Amsterdam and their idol(s) teaming up against my own OG Bruxelles group until Natalie is gone, and the longer Natalie stays in the game, the more likely she is to win it all. I didn't spend four rounds trying my hardest in those challenges just to lose to the one person we couldn't quite get rid of because of our own ridiculous paranoia.

Anyway, Burnie told me the vote was pretty straightforward, but he did get some interesting information from Ian. From what Ian tells him, apparently me, Julia and Carrie are a voting bloc. I don't know why Ian thinks it's Carrie in the trio and not Burnie, but he trusted Burnie enough to tell him this and then included him in a NEW trio chat - Burnie, Ian and Tim. Like the lovely ally that he is, Burnie told me all of this without me having to press him for much detail. Apparently, the fact he sent me to Exile hasn't raised as many flags as I expected it would when it happened?

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I can't blame Ian for wanting to cover his bases. He and Jaclyn are the only two OG Luxembourg left in the game, and like he's going to depend on Jaclyn as anything more than the goat no one will vote for in the end? I can totally see Ian wanting to make sure both sides like him, because he may very well become the swing vote that changes the game soon. I'd like to think I'm his #1, and the way we talk all the time (when I'm not huddled under a poorly made shelter trying to avoid the rain on Exile Island) and the way he talks to me suggests that as well. He has new nicknames for me, by the way - Muffin and Cupcake. $10 says at some point he will start calling me Angel.



I'm still hopeful Ian is on my side, and if he's not he's doing a fantastic job at playing me. But Tim? I want him gone.

I don't know who Tim thinks he's fooling with his insistence on playing dumb, but it's not me or Burnie. We suspect him or Dustin of having the Bruxelles idol, and I really do think Tim has it. Then he whines all throughout last night's challenge about how it's going to be a train wreck and how he doesn't understand it, only to end up in the final round and almost win it. And then the round he wins, he eliminates me saying I WANT to go back to Exile.

Hey Tim? Screw you. You're the one with the idol here, not me. I see your game. You want me to go to Exile a third time to put a target on my back for having all the clues. You want to rally people against me as the big threat because I FOR SURE have an idol, because obviously if I've been there three times in a row I HAVE to have it, don't I? Well, fine. I was planning on doing the same thing to you anyway, so fair's fair. Shade me all you want, because if you keep doing that, I'm never going to want to vote for you in the end. I'll do my level best to make sure that you don't get there in the first place.

Tim's comment, and Ian's promise earlier that he would send me to Exile if he won to "protect me"(?), made me prepared to go to Exile again this round, so when Dustin won and he said "Sorry, I didn't think I'd win so I put you as a joke saying you would be the new Tim" doesn't fly with me. This was their plan all along. If they're not doing this to split the Bruxelles group and vote out one of Burnie, Julia or Carrie THIS ROUND, they're doing this to make me the biggest target NEXT ROUND. I see your games, kids, and I know you probably have more pieces on the field than we do right now, but if I come back and Natalie isn't gone, all bets are off.

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So to make a long story short, I'm back at Exile again for the round. I have the third clue...and it's not as obvious as I was hoping for.

Do you know why I worked so hard in the challenge that got me sent here in the first place? It wasn't just because it was a matter of pride and safety in securing the win for my tribe that would lead us into the Final 10. It was because people needed me to do well. It was my actions that would decide the fates of my friends in this game. If I didn't give everything I had into that challenge, then I would be letting everyone down. When my team is depending on me to come through, I have to do everything I can to do my best. To do anything less is disrespectful to them. It's easy for people to die for their own cause - it's harder to send people to their own deaths.

It's the same thing with this idol. I NEED to find this idol now. Returning to camp without it in my pocket means Tim's group will have a massive upper hand on mine. If I don't find this idol, it's not just me that will pay the price. It's Burnie who will be in trouble. It's Carrie who will need to hustle. It's Julia who will be on the chopping block. I'm not just letting myself down if I can't figure out what these clues all mean before Tribal Council ends tonight; I'm letting everyone I care about most in this game down with me. That will weigh on my conscience for a long, long time.

Please, please, PLEASE, let me find something. Let me figure this out. I've never wanted a Hidden Immunity Idol more in my life than I do right now.

[Dorothy Hui]

This is even worse than the stupid Bruxelles idol. At least with that one I felt like I had narrowed the category down to some kind of language. This still feels like it can be ANY travel method, and there are probably so many vague ones out there that I haven't even heard of that makes me completely unsure if I'm even in the same realm of possibility.

I know that within these clues, the password is probably spelled out clear as day. Words like expedient, mirror, beyond the veil, eyes, etc., they stick out, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do with them. I feel like this is something really obscure to the point where I just haven't heard of it. Or, if it's something obvious, then I just can't get it spelled out for myself.

Once again, I'm completely shaming my rep. Dorothy herself would have gotten it on the first clue.

This is almost hopeless for me. I need to think of a plan for when I get back to camp, with or without the idol.

I'm going to assume that if Tim hasn't already found it, everyone's going to think I have it. I'll be the only one who had access to all three of the clues for 24 hours, and they'll probably think it's as obvious as the clues have been for the tribe idols. If they're going to think that anyway, then I might as well bluff that I have it even if I don't. After spending all this time here trying to crack this code, I don't think that Tim has figured it out - this is just too difficult. I don't see how anyone could have figured this password out easily, even Tim, who's a lot smarter than he lets on.

That means I feel like they have two idols in their possession right now - the Bruxelles idol and the Amsterdam idol. It's scary, but not insurmountable. And if they think I have an idol anyway and I say that I'll play it on myself, maybe they'll be more likely to vote against another OG Bruxelles member instead of me to avoid messing with me. Intimidation is as good a plan as any, and they won't have the votes to split next round if one of OG Bruxelles wins immunity and exiles one of Tim/Dustin, or Natalie if worst case scenario happens and she really is still there. They will have to go all in on SOMEONE.

It's not the safest plan, but if I don't get the idol today (which is looking likelier and likelier by the hour), it's all I've got. Whatever happens, it is IMPERATIVE that someone from OG Bruxelles wins the next immunity challenge. We NEED to be able to exile one of those idols before they can get played. Julia, Burnie, Carrie and I NEED to all be able to vote at the next Tribal Council, because it's only going to have 7 players. We NEED to be able to control what happens next round to some extent, because we likely won't have an idol to help us out.

And all that is assuming Natalie is actually voted out this round. There are numbers there to vote out one of Burnie, Carrie or Julia, and losing any one of them will be a crushing blow. If Natalie truly does survive this round, my game will be in serious jeopardy...as if it wasn't already.

Next round will determine how the rest of the game plays out. I don't doubt that for a second. But I didn't come here to add another mid-jury, 8th place finish on my ORG record. I want that endgame badly, and I want to be there with my lovely OG Bruxelles.