Dorothy's Journal - Episode Twelve (Strange Bedfellows)
Sept 9, 2016 2:37:36 GMT
Katia Winter likes this
Post by Dorothy Hui on Sept 9, 2016 2:37:36 GMT
I can't express how much of a relief it is that last round went my way. Even though I was immune, Natalie staying after I worked so hard to engineer a situation where she could be voted out would have been like stepping on the one lone Lego your niece left on the living room floor with your bare foot. It would have hurt, I probably would have said some nasty things, and then I would need to bend down to try and put the Lego back away again. It really would have just been the start of a never-ending cycle that would inevitably end in my pending elimination.
But this round, I got what I was hoping for. With Jaclyn gone at Exile, I was finally able to get votes together to eliminate Natalie. I mean, okay, it could have gone terribly if Carrie's randomized vote ended up forcing a tie, because I don't think Julia would have stayed in that scenario, but because Ian, Natalie and Dustin couldn't get their target together, it ended up working out well for us. And I'm pretty sure Carrie would have voted against Natalie anyway, so I'll take it as a moral victory if nothing else.
I'm still hurting from Burnie's exit, and I still really feel like I'm fighting only for myself in this game now. I can't really be picky about who I work with anymore, and this time, Julia (who betrayed me in a really shitty way) and Tim (who I wanted to blindside for a long time and who I had gotten into a big argument with after I chose Jaclyn for Exile) wanted the same thing I did. In no way do I expect this is permanent, because I think either they'll want to vote against me or I'll want to turn on them before long. Julia made sure that my reputation is shot, and I still think everyone thinks I'm packing an idol I don't actually have, so I still feel very much in survival mode.
Still, Tim said he's really happy to be working with me again, and he's sorry that we fought. It feels strange that he's seemingly forgiven me so quickly after my F3 was exposed and my plans against him were laid out there, especially since he's still willing to work with Julia to get there. Maybe he thinks he beats the three of us? He may very well be right given Carrie's perception as Julia's double vote and Julia's snakey-snake-snakeiness and my own weird Silver Spoon arc.
I do think Julia thinks she needs me, if only as her shield that she can vote out before someone votes her out.
...
Wow, I'm becoming crazy cynical.
---
I was incredibly up front about how I was voting Natalie all throughout last round, so I don't feel like I have anything to apologize for. This may sound arrogant, but I know I made the right call. I maintain that Natalie would have crushed everyone in a jury vote. I would have voted for her without a second thought, and I think other members of the jury would have agreed with that assessment. My actions helped save the rest of us from continuing to play for 2nd place.
So Dustin being so upset at everyone? He's misdirecting his energy. I didn't want to vote on an opposite side from him in the first place - he was shut out of the Burnie vote, and I didn't want the same thing to happen again. I was honest with him the whole round. Hell, among the OG Amsterdams that made the merge, I may have been the most straight up with Dustin out of all of them - I wanted very specifically to blindside Tim and eliminate him, NOT Dustin. I told Dustin I really wanted to work with him, even though I'm pretty sure he would beat me in the end. I even tried to reassure him that we could vote Julia AFTER voting Natalie, because I understand why he believed Julia needed to go and I don't disagree with any of what he said when he tried to flip me.
I tried to apologize to him when I got back from work today, but he's really upset at pretty much everyone. He even posted in the Tree Mail his dramatic "don't talk to me" message that he ended up giving me, too. How in the world does his moping benefit him? It doesn't. He needs to brush himself off and realize Natalie's exit isn't the end of the world, and that not everyone lied to him. If anyone lied to him, it's probably Tim, but Tim will need to answer to that himself. I'm not his mother; he's free to do and say as he wants.
I don't know about Dustin anymore. I can empathize with his position, but I can't agree with how he's handling it. There are still seven of us in the game, and the lies are blurred enough that anything can happen. The only certainty now is that a NuBruxelles will win the game, and I'm happy about that. Maybe in time, he'll be happy about that, too.
---
Jaclyn came back from Exile! Yay! Now I can finally talk to her and let her know I'm glad she's safe and that I don't want her to go! Hi Jaclyn!
...
Oh, you don't want to know why I sent you to Exile?
...
Y-you're in class right now? That's cool!
...
You, uh, okay with how things happened, right?
...
...
I don't think this girl even knows I just saved her from a nasty fate. She's definitely not showing any outward gratitude. It must not be part of her programming.
Whatever. When the vote comes and Ian inevitably wants to vote against her again, I can show her the logs. I don't know what happens next, but I definitely hope I've got some good will from certain people and not a fear that I'm going to stab all of them in the back.
